If Words Don’t Matter, Why Are You So Defensive?

I grew up in the 90s, and in the 90s, we called everything…well…the “r” word.

I can’t even bring myself to say it now.

Remember when Michael Scott told us all that it’s not ok to use the “r” word unless we are referring to our friends who are “acting”...r-worded.

I can’t even say it in the quote!

At the time, that episode of The Office was hilarious. Cringy and hilarious.

Today, I can’t imagine that line being televised.

Aren’t people just getting “too sensitive?”

I’ve heard this argument many times. I bet I even voiced it a few times before I knew better.

But of course, words matter!

And the “r” word isn’t the only one we’ve weaponized. We also do this with other terms, especially those aimed at women.

Consider how women have tried to reclaim “Throw like a girl.” 

Why do boys hate it when they're told they "throw like a girl" or "run like a girl?"

Because society is implying that there is something wrong with being a girl! (Or retarded, or gay, or trans, or addicted, or any color of skin that's not white, etc.)

Most of these digs fall apart when we apply basic logic. 

Let's look at one.

To be blunt, suggesting that the “p” word is weak is ridiculous. Women’s bodies are powerful, and I don't need to spell out why. Yet, somehow, society decided to brand women and their parts as weak because…of course, it did!

Yes, retarded is technically a diagnostic term.

These words start as descriptions, but once society uses them to mock or diminish people, they become insults.

Those are only a couple of examples. There are so many more, and even if you want to feign that it doesn't matter. Deep down, we all know it does.

There are emotions and beliefs behind the words that are not kind, and that is what matters.

I know your mom taught you this: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” 

Pretend as much as you want, but I know, and your mom knows, when you are using a word to be derogatory.

If words didn’t matter, you wouldn’t have taken the time to read this post. So let’s stop faking and do better.